Monday was my first oncology appointment and the weather held perfect expression for me. Rain wasn't pouring from the clouds that hung low, it was only a slight drizzle that lasted all day long. There was a chill indoors that was somewhat uncomfortable. I wrapped myself in a big sweater, stood at a window that faced the backyard and then the weather and I cried small raindrops all day long. I realized that as the rain was coming down it would bring rich nutrient to the soil and that’s beneficial... so, it was a good day to cry.
The bright spot of the day was taking a step into the new world of oncology. Who knew that I would love a doctor so much who was going to prescribe poison for my body? Who knew, she would be kind and compassionate, gentle and patient? I've driven by this place a million times and never noticed the packed parking lot! There was a little city going on inside of this medical office park. I've never seen so many people in one doctors office before. The chemo chairs were full, the waiting room was full and every patient was being soothed. I'm the new girl in town and I think I'll fit right in. I'm not alone. I had only ever known a few people with cancer and now there is a whole damn building filled with people like me, strolling down the recovery path!
You know you've got something threatening when you have a team of doctors! This doctor was selling me an insurance plan called chemicals, that would increase my odds of cancer being killed off systematically. First, twelve to eighteen weeks of chemo followed by six weeks of radiation and then five years of hormone therapy. My hair will fall out, I'll get sunburned and complete my menopause cycle. "It's optional," she said!
"Not for me, hook me up, let's get this thing started." I didn't hesitate one single moment.
With each layer of treatment my odds of survival increase. Treatment can't start until I am finished healing from the mastectomies. She must have meant physically healing because I’m pretty sure it will be quite sometime before I’m mentally healed from this amputation.
I just want a day between now and that first drip of chemicals where I don't have to think about my life, my fight or my prognosis. I wanna go to the San Diego Zoo. I wanna laugh at the monkeys and be awed by the tigers. I wanna eat pop corn and watch the towering giraffes. I wanna be surrounded by life and at a simplistic level.
It’s with great faith that I press on. It’s a new kind of faith, one that I’ve not known before. It’s bigger than the comfortable knowledge that God is with you or to coin the phrase, “things happen for a reason.” It’s so big that there is a force behind it. Momentum? No, more like exponential power, I’d say. In the book of Mark Chapter 9 there is a story of a man who brings his child to Jesus to be healed of demons. The father asks Jesus if He would have compassion on them and heal his son. Here’s their interaction. Mark 9:23-24
Jesus said to him, "If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes." Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, "Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!"
Here’s Sheri Page’s response, "Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!"
Here’s what happened next… Mark 9:25
When Jesus saw that the people came running together, He rebuked the unclean spirit, saying to it: "Deaf and dumb spirit, I command you, come out of him and enter him no more!"
Here’ what happened next in my faith,
When Jesus saw that the people came running together ( who prayed for Sheri) , He rebuked the unclean spirit,( the cancer) saying to it: "Deaf and dumb spirit, ( cancer) I command you, come out of him( her) and enter him ( her) no more!"
With GREAT FAITH, In the name of Jesus!!!