New Year's Eve weekend took sooooo long be over. I couldn't wait for the first business day after the New Year's Eve conversation with my doctor. With all of the results at my finger tips, there is only urgency on my mind. Jan 11th, 2012 is The Day. Moving through this is like sprinting up a mountain. Every now and then I need a minute to digest the terrain. Where am I, where am I going and what comes next runs through my mind like a scrolling banner. Did you know that cancer loves an acidic environment? That it can't survive in an oxygen cell environment? PH balance is important and I should not eat red meat?
That's nice to know, right? So much to do like filing for a modification on my home loan so they won't foreclose while I'm recovering from surgery and chemo. Did I mention that I have no insurance? I spared you from the stories of filing for Social Security, Medicaid and social service financial assistance. I first was surprised that there were so many private agencies to give financial assistance and even more surprised to find out that they are all out of money. One organization told me that no organization could help with the medication because it was against the law! Really? The IRS says that I can't get help from a non-profit organizations to pay for chemo?! The thought is that they can help with my power bill so I can pay for my treatments. Let's see how does that work? If I qualify, I can be blessed with $150.00 for my power bill, but the $10,000 Chemo drip is on me? Something doesn't make sense here folks? I kindly told the lady on the phone from the last organization I called, "Honestly, I really don't need $150.00 for my power bill, what I need is insurance!
Some good news came from a family member and doctor as well as another friend who is a pharmaceutical rep. The companies that make the chemo will help with the cost if you have a hardship letter. So there is hope. Another friend told us that there is an insurance company called PCIP that will cover pre-existing conditions. I am applying for that immediately! It takes about 4 weeks to be approved and it is the same insurance that our government workers get. I will end up paying for the surgery with deep discounts for cash paying patients. Insurance, if I get it will kick in for treatments. If I don't get it then I always have the option of relying on the county and UMC. Now I know why they show such a loss every year! Cash paying patients at UMC are charged just 50.00 for treatment and a 500.00 deductible. Downfall is I don't get to use my own doctors and who knows if the meds offered are the best ones for me? Fundraiser!!!! I would have rather never been the one in need, but I am. There was a moment when I was sitting in the welfare office, I turned and looked at my husband and ask, "How did I get here"? Gosh I must have been day dreaming during the bus ride that dropped me off here. Then the tears just ran and ran and ran... How do I get back to being a giver again?
With that said and my nightmare spoken out loud, I am so blessed.
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